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You may face discrimination at home, at school, or at work. In turn, these can affect your relationships and dating life. New same-sex marriage laws and a more progressive society have empowered the LGBTQ community to get married, have children, and create families. Despite these steps forward, challenges remain for same-sex couples. Unlike heterosexual relationships, which historically have a well-defined path towards marriage, there are few models out of there for same-sex couples.
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In many ways, people in the LGBTQ community face the same challenges as their heterosexual counterparts. It takes the same effort to find a suitable partner, build a strong, long-lasting relationship, and improve that relationship over time. On the other hand, coming out and the reality of oppression impact LGBTQ individuals in specific and concrete ways.
This may affect how you look for and find a suitable match.
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The availability of the Internet and apps have dramatically changed the way people find their romantic partners. Dating sites and apps have replaced bars, restaurants, and other social spaces where same-sex couples would normally meet. Because finding a partner has become easier, LGBTQ partnership rates have increased dramatically in the last decades. But, online dating has influenced how people make decisions about their relationships.
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Due to a bombardment of possibilities, people may be less attentive to more suitable partners and more vulnerable to connecting with incompatible partners. This is especially true for those who want a longterm relationship.
Why try if there might be something better out there anyways? Dating is complicated because we want our partners to be our best friend, fulfill all our sexual fantasies and desires, support our dreams, share our financial burdens, and accept all of our flaws. Yet, the reality is that relationships take effort and consistent repairs. As in any relationship, once the romantic stage gives way to the next stage, conflicts over differences may arise.
Sometimes, they suffer at the hands of their own parents, siblings, and other close relatives. Unsurprisingly, it took my early 20s to figure myself out, when I hopelessly fell in love with someone and could do nothing about it. I was trapped in the proverbial closet and I found the courage to be myself for the first time only when I spread my wings and went to study in America. My greatest challenge was yet to come though.
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Once I sort of got comfortable in my own skin, my approach to dating was based on an inherent desire for love and companionship rather than just mere sex and fun. Meeting guys with the same agenda soon became a nightmare and eventually, a borderline lost cause. The first guy I ever dated — met on a fairly popular site — turned into a two-month-long story until he ghosted me. Being my first experience ever, the effect was shattering on my self-esteem, as he just used me to rebound after a long-time relationship gone wrong.
The following two years, my last ones in America, only featured some online flirting.
We awkwardly bumped into each other a month later, outside the tube station. He then texted me that night how we just wanted different things and that I was amazing and deserved better, apologising for not having the guts to tell me face to face.
Woke level: 100
Too little too late but I appreciated the gesture, for a change. Plus I gained a better understanding of how being honest with yourself and with others is the key to dating.
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After another period of radio silence, I started using a couple of apps and sites again which only led to further disappointment.
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